I dunno. Maybe? Only I was thinking how crap my roommates are in Orzammar, and how crap they are in the Gallows, and then I thought about changing, and then I thought--well, I thought I would ask, at least.
I snore. Only a little, I think, but then again--I'm asleep when it's happening, so I dunno.
I would like seeing more of you, though. Like, it'd be brilliant to just wake up and you'd be there, instead of me having to go off and find you every day just to say 'good morning'. I could roll over, like, and say 'good morning' directly.
[ Which is a thought to hold onto while he's in Orzammar, the idea of waking up and finding him beside her. Safely beside her.
Safely is the difficult part. ]
I am told I sometimes scream. [ She knows from experience, too, but saying so might entirely drown out that warm sensation in her chest at the idea of Matthias rolling over to say 'good morning.' ] If I wake up suddenly, sometimes my claws appear.
[He's quiet for a second, a sure sign that he's puzzling something out.]
We could have two beds. And push 'em together, if we wanted, but push 'em apart otherwise. And I'm getting better at healing, I've been working with Derrica.
[ She's thinking it through herself, looking for ago the ways it might not work, in hopes of finding the ways it could. The thought of it, at the moment, is growing increasingly alluring. ]
And I would be careful. [ That's a foolish promise. She wants it to be true, though. I would not hurt you. I would only ever hurt myself. ] And if we wished to sleep apart, we would still be nearby.
[Surely there are things he can learn--things he can do or not do--so that he can make sure that nothing goes wrong. The more they talk of this, the more real it seems, and Matthias realizes that he does want it. He was fairly certain that he did before he contacted her. Now he's double sure.]
So--that's that, then? If we're in agreement, we ought to, y'know. Find a new room and move in. Er, well, I will, once I'm back.
[ And he feels impossibly far away in that moment, when she might otherwise take hold of his hand and kiss him--and then find a room they both like the look of, one with space enough for both of them and the cat besides.
It occurs to her that this might be how he felt, waiting for her return from the Frostbacks, nearing a year ago. ]
[All the good positive warm feelings of this new prospect--sharing a room with Laura, with his girlfriend, living with her, no matter what worries might be associated with it--well, they're still there.
But also: roommates in Orzammar.
Ugh, Matthias says.]
They're not all of Riftwatch, for starters. There's this trader, he smells of wet dog. And then these brothers, both dwarves, they sleep with their feet in each other's faces? It's bloody odd. And the two that are of Riftwatch aren't great by any stretch.
[ She makes a little noise, a growly little ugh, at the thought of wet dog and feet smells. Six people crowded in a room, none of whom are especially good company, and stone all around them.
The reason he thought of their living arrangements starts to become more clear. ]
But you are only there to sleep. [ Some comfort, at least. ] What is Orzammar like?
Yeah, that's true. That's a good way to think of it. You'd hate it, though, you'd not sleep here.
[If Matthias hates the smell, Laura would despise it.]
Orzammar is sort of brilliant, though? I dunno! It's strange. Really different than anywhere else I've been--not that I've been everywhere, or anything, but I've been places, right, and this isn't like any of them. There's no sky. Obviously, but I didn't reckon on how strange it would be to go over to a window and look out and expect to see a sky and then--there's none.
I would find a rooftop. [ There's something warm in her voice, imagining it. ] And I would bring you with me.
Does it feel...confined? [ That had been the thing she'd disliked the thought of, when considering the possibility of going. ] What have you been doing?
[Distracted, a little, by the thought of being on a rooftop with Laura--how much he would like that right now, how pleasant and completely different than his present reality that would be--Matthias has to reset, think of his answer to what she's asked.]
I think--yeah. A little, maybe. It's funny, saying that, 'cause I'd not thought of it that way really, but now that you've said it, it does. Coming home, I reckon it'll be strange instead to see the sky so big. Good, of course. But strange.
I've been doing missions and such. I went to the market with Derrica, there's loads for sale. Don't worry, I got you a gift. And there's nug races, I've been going to those. At first I wasn't betting, but it's fun, actually, it adds, I dunno. A little something to it.
Maker, sorry, I should've asked--what've you been doing?
You haven't got to get me anything if you're keeping my desk clear for me while I'm gone. That's gift enough. I was having nightmares about the state of it once I was back from Orzammar, truth.
Er, I think I lost more at the start. But the balance is shifting now, like. I'd say I win as much as I lose. So I reckon it'll go the other way soon enough. Imagine if I came home rich!
Yeah, I'd probably lay down and die if anyone was trying to make it known how they felt about me or anyone else behaving. All right, then, we won't move house to Hightown, even if I make a billion squillion gold on my next bet. That's settled. We could live wherever we wanted, with a billion squillion gold.
[ All jesting aside, she grows quiet, thinking about the possibilities. After close to two years in Kirkwall, she still feels like she knows more about where she wouldn't want to be than where she would. ]
If there is a city that smells better than Kirkwall, I wish to live there. Otherwise, I am unsure. [ Though now it's going to require further thought. ] Where would you live?
Nearly anywhere? 'Smells better'n Kirkwall' isn't that hard a bar to pass.
Free Marches wouldn't be so bad. I like it mostly--not all parts, obviously, but mostly. Dunno where I would live, though. I think I need to see more places before I work that out--like properly see, not just march by or camp outside of or anything like that.
Have you been to Wycome? I haven't, yet, but I hear it's good.
Loads of stuff. It's sort of like Antiva City, right, if Antiva City was in the Free Marches and not, y'know, Antiva. As in, there's loads of taverns and markets and parties and things, they have loads and loads of Antivan wine.... It's meant to be the freest of the Free Marches as well. That's what everyone says. I've always wanted to see it for myself.
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[ A pause. ]
But I might be difficult to sleep near.
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I would like seeing more of you, though. Like, it'd be brilliant to just wake up and you'd be there, instead of me having to go off and find you every day just to say 'good morning'. I could roll over, like, and say 'good morning' directly.
[Oh, wait.]
Difficult how?
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[ Which is a thought to hold onto while he's in Orzammar, the idea of waking up and finding him beside her. Safely beside her.
Safely is the difficult part. ]
I am told I sometimes scream. [ She knows from experience, too, but saying so might entirely drown out that warm sensation in her chest at the idea of Matthias rolling over to say 'good morning.' ] If I wake up suddenly, sometimes my claws appear.
I do not want to hurt you.
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[He's quiet for a second, a sure sign that he's puzzling something out.]
We could have two beds. And push 'em together, if we wanted, but push 'em apart otherwise. And I'm getting better at healing, I've been working with Derrica.
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[ She's thinking it through herself, looking for ago the ways it might not work, in hopes of finding the ways it could. The thought of it, at the moment, is growing increasingly alluring. ]
And I would be careful. [ That's a foolish promise. She wants it to be true, though. I would not hurt you. I would only ever hurt myself. ] And if we wished to sleep apart, we would still be nearby.
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[Surely there are things he can learn--things he can do or not do--so that he can make sure that nothing goes wrong. The more they talk of this, the more real it seems, and Matthias realizes that he does want it. He was fairly certain that he did before he contacted her. Now he's double sure.]
So--that's that, then? If we're in agreement, we ought to, y'know. Find a new room and move in. Er, well, I will, once I'm back.
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[ And he feels impossibly far away in that moment, when she might otherwise take hold of his hand and kiss him--and then find a room they both like the look of, one with space enough for both of them and the cat besides.
It occurs to her that this might be how he felt, waiting for her return from the Frostbacks, nearing a year ago. ]
...What is wrong with your roommates in Orzammar?
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But also: roommates in Orzammar.
Ugh, Matthias says.]
They're not all of Riftwatch, for starters. There's this trader, he smells of wet dog. And then these brothers, both dwarves, they sleep with their feet in each other's faces? It's bloody odd. And the two that are of Riftwatch aren't great by any stretch.
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The reason he thought of their living arrangements starts to become more clear. ]
But you are only there to sleep. [ Some comfort, at least. ] What is Orzammar like?
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[If Matthias hates the smell, Laura would despise it.]
Orzammar is sort of brilliant, though? I dunno! It's strange. Really different than anywhere else I've been--not that I've been everywhere, or anything, but I've been places, right, and this isn't like any of them. There's no sky. Obviously, but I didn't reckon on how strange it would be to go over to a window and look out and expect to see a sky and then--there's none.
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Does it feel...confined? [ That had been the thing she'd disliked the thought of, when considering the possibility of going. ] What have you been doing?
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[Distracted, a little, by the thought of being on a rooftop with Laura--how much he would like that right now, how pleasant and completely different than his present reality that would be--Matthias has to reset, think of his answer to what she's asked.]
I think--yeah. A little, maybe. It's funny, saying that, 'cause I'd not thought of it that way really, but now that you've said it, it does. Coming home, I reckon it'll be strange instead to see the sky so big. Good, of course. But strange.
I've been doing missions and such. I went to the market with Derrica, there's loads for sale. Don't worry, I got you a gift. And there's nug races, I've been going to those. At first I wasn't betting, but it's fun, actually, it adds, I dunno. A little something to it.
Maker, sorry, I should've asked--what've you been doing?
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...Though now I will have to get you a gift from the marketplace, if you have gotten me something.
[ Something to go in our room. As anything she gets him inevitably will, but now it might be deliberate. ]
When you bet on the nugs, do you lose or win?
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Er, I think I lost more at the start. But the balance is shifting now, like. I'd say I win as much as I lose. So I reckon it'll go the other way soon enough. Imagine if I came home rich!
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[ Solemn, but not serious, in her way. (Which is to say: a joke.) ]
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Could you manage in Hightown? Being posh? I dunno that I could.
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I am told people in Hightown feel strongly about how others behave. I would dislike that. And I think you would, too.
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Yeah, I'd probably lay down and die if anyone was trying to make it known how they felt about me or anyone else behaving. All right, then, we won't move house to Hightown, even if I make a billion squillion gold on my next bet. That's settled. We could live wherever we wanted, with a billion squillion gold.
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[ It's as good as a laugh, with all the warmth in the way she says it. ]
We could go places. Not only for Riftwatch. When we found the right place, we could live there.
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[Obviously.]
Where would you live, if you could live anywhere, d'you think?
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[ All jesting aside, she grows quiet, thinking about the possibilities. After close to two years in Kirkwall, she still feels like she knows more about where she wouldn't want to be than where she would. ]
If there is a city that smells better than Kirkwall, I wish to live there. Otherwise, I am unsure. [ Though now it's going to require further thought. ] Where would you live?
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Free Marches wouldn't be so bad. I like it mostly--not all parts, obviously, but mostly. Dunno where I would live, though. I think I need to see more places before I work that out--like properly see, not just march by or camp outside of or anything like that.
Have you been to Wycome? I haven't, yet, but I hear it's good.
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